Nativity Meltdown

LM had an interesting role in the Nativity this year.  It was quite a challenge coming up with a costume as there was just no hopping onto Ebay & buying one.  Google & Mumsnet came up with some solutions but not ones that were very practical in a church of limited size, in a role that involved "bouncing round some robins".

Yes, you've guessed it.  LM was a hailstone (& whilst some might argue that the Christmas story is usually light on such meteorological phenomena, I would like to point out that this particular version also included fir trees, snowmen & the aforementioned robins).  As for the costume, well I made some rather fetching (albeit a tad see-through) satiny white trousers & teamed with thermal underwear & silver tinsel. Ta-dah! one hailstone.

The big performance day came and for a time it looked like all my efforts were going to waste as LM had stage fright.  He stood up to sing the first song with all the other children but instead of a lovely rendition of 'Mary's Baby' his face crumpled & he started howling (not too loudly).  That was the last I saw of him as he spent the rest of the show sat on the floor behind everyone else, resolutely refusing to join in.

The afternoon performance having been a washout, I didn't hold out much hope of an appearance in the evening version, especially as he became hysterical when I picked him up, adamant that he didn't want to go back.  I assured him that he didn't have to (no one would notice a missing hailstone after all) but once he'd calmed down we had a chat (& a bribe) & LM valiantly said he would perform (even singing me the hailstone song) as long as Mummy & Daddy weren't there.  It was a little gutting to be the cause of his earlier terror but as the show must go on I reluctantly agreed.

Driving him down to school for the second, & last, performance I managed to persuade LM to let me come into the church out of the cold, so long as I stayed at the back where I couldn't see or hear him.

Well, I hid behind a pillar but managed to see him sing & dance & 'bounce round some robins' and I couldn't have been prouder.

And would you believe he spent the whole performance craning his neck to see if I was there!

Birthday Bashed

A few days ago LM turned 5.  My grown-up not so little man.

Sadly it was a school day so after just one present LM went off in his uniform demanding of everyone "How old do you think I am?" and taking great delight in informing them.  He handed out gingerbread stars to his class at home time (remarkably patiently given that he had presents to get back to) then it was off home to the aforementioned presents (recurring themes of Lego & Star Wars - always a hit) & his birthday tea request of Chinese.  I'm not so naive as to think I could pull off a party on a Friday night with tired terrors children.

So Saturday was the big birthday bash (or bashed if you are Daddy trying to organise a bit of handwashing).  We went with a space theme & consequently were invaded by a fair few Buzz Lightyears.  My own Buzz was enhanced with a homemade jetpack which survives intact only because it stayed on for 10 minutes max.

 

We played various space variations of the usual party games - Pass the Parcel became Save Planet Earth from the Asteroid (good excuse for my rubbish wrapping - it was meant to look like that!), Simon Says became Commander D says and we had airbeds to replicate the Moon's surface for Toss the beanbag (I mean, moon rock) into the crater (bin).  Oh & a beautiful Pin the Spaceman courtesy of clever Daddy.

The cake was meant to be a UFO with stretchy alien passengers but it may have resembled more of a crashed UFO.  Luckily the kids were either too polite to say or too busy eating it.

Not the cake but gingerbread Spaceman & Flying Saucers

We finished off with fireworks which whilst they didn't keep the space cadets quiet, at least had the advantage of keeping them in one place (briefly).

All in all I think it went well but lessons I have learnt are:

•  how ever long you think a game will last, halve it
• how ever many games you think you need, double it 
• it doesn't really matter as long as they can run around & make lots of noise (Musical Aliens anyone?)

The Honeymoon Period is over

LM is no longer in love with school, at least in the mornings.

For the past few days he has told me he doesn't want to go to school, usually invoking a cough (which admittedly he still has) or being too tired.  This morning was the worst because he tripped on his way in & scraped his knee.  Cue many tears & hanging on to Mummy's neck.  I finally extricated myself by depositing him in the book corner & promising to pick him up later.  I have learnt my lesson from last week & made sure I emphasised that it would be at the end of the day.  I made the mistake of being a bit vague about that before & at the end of the day LM asked "Why didn't you come & get me before the end Mummy?" even though he had just told me he had had a fun day!

I have enlisted the help of his best friend in cheering him up so hopefully this will be just a phase (a brief one please) - it breaks my heart to leave him when he's so sad. 

Although I do know I am easily replaced by stickle bricks.

After School Update
LM came running out, all smiles, to tell us he had done some lovely writing.  Oh & yes, he had played with the stickle bricks

Winter Wonderland...in November!

Sunday morning I woke up & looked out to find a garden carpeted in white & huge flakes still gently drifting down.  This was all the more amazing as just 2 hours earlier I'd been rudely awoken by torrential rain.  It only being 7.30 & a Sunday LM was still tucked up in bed (I know I'm lucky) so I kindly got him up to see the snow.

Well, I don't know if I've mentioned the difficulties I have getting him to get dressed in the morning, but the sight of the white stuff was just the trigger he needed.  I have never seen him get dressed so quickly.  He was wrapped up warm & out of the back door before I had a chance to put the coffee on.  Which was lucky as not long after rain began to fall & the snow started disappearing fast.  Well at least he got a few snowballs in.

Unfortunately I can't rely on snow every morning to aid in getting ready but I do have the backup plan of the marble run.  Throw in a handful of marbles & LM tries to get dressed before they reach the end.  This is, however, quite a noisy start to the day but if it works...

If you go down to the woods today...

...make sure you don't overtake the person in front! This, according to LM, is the cardinal rule of countryside walking. Effectively it meant we weren't to overtake him although, seeing as he said it was a rule he learnt at school, I'm sure the person in front is meant to be an adult. Even when negotiating tricky steep bits LM would only accept help if we swore to go back to our designated places once the hazard was passed.

Highlights of our walk included LM showing us where rabbits lay their eggs (who knew?) and the white knuckle walk along some extremely slippy mud, bordered on one side by a ditch & the other by an electric fence. Whichever way you fell you'd had it.

As the pioneer of the group, leading the way through dense jungle (well the brambles & nettles were encroaching on the footpath), LM took great delight in announcing what hazards lay ahead.  Surprisingly for our neck of the woods there were many deep rivers to be crossed - although thankfully none of them went above welly height.  At least they washed off some of the mud.

LM & one of the 'big rivers'

LM was enjoying himself so much he didn't want to go home ... until, that is, he saw the steep hill that had to be climbed to get back.  Then he stopped dead & said plaintively "I wish it was lunchtime" as if that would magically transport us home.  Luckily a breeze blew down a flurry of leaves that we pretended was snow & that got us going again.

The Spice of Life

LM is quite partial to curry, particularly the dhansak style one his dad makes.  It's not too spicy (just the way LM likes it) but still with plenty of bite for grown ups.  I don't really get involved in the preparation of this dish, apart from pointing out where I keep all the different spices (I don't move them around honest), so was a little perplexed as to what might have gone into Saturday night's version when LM announced he had just chewed a 'flavour stone'.

  My first thought was of the old Stone Soup story but the chef was quick to identify the culprit - a cheeky cardamom that had escaped being fished out for LM's benefit.  I think that's what I'll be calling them from now on. 

I've made Hugh's cauliflower & chickpea curry - I hope I find the star anise before LM.  I can't imagine what he'd call it.

P is for...

Today is brought to you by the letter 'P'.

In a rare moment of openness about what LM gets up to all day in school he told me that they were practising 'P'.  When I asked him what words start with it I was informed that his contribution to the class was the word, wait for it, "Perseverance"! 

Top marks for the right letter but I don't think I should take credit for his choice of words - whilst perseverance is definitely a quality you need as a parent I'm fairly certain it's not a word that gets bandied around in conversations Chez Nous that often.  We suspect that the teacher must have used it (probably just seconds before) for LM to remember it so clearly.  

Still, it is proof that he's learning something.  Now if they could just teach him to eat a yoghurt without getting  it all over himself...

UPDATE:  LM's teacher confirmed that he had actually come up with 'perseverance' (remembering it from their talks about having to persevere to learn new things & their talks about God) - it was, apparently, a 'Wow!' moment

Two days in

LM is now at school.  I can't quite believe it myself, just seeing my baby in his uniform brings a lump to my throat (but at least I didn't cry as he ran into the classroom that first day, without a backwards glance).

I knew LM wouldn't have too much of a problem - for the last term of preschool he spent one morning a week in Reception class getting to know the teacher & the routines - but I had thought (hoped?) he would be a little more reluctant to leave me.  Alas no.  I am supplanted by Miss W in his affections.  The last few weeks of summer were spent drawing pictures for this other woman in his life, everything he does is just so he can tell her, and Saturday he said "I wish I was going to school today".  I exaggerate of course.  When the school day ends he is still my LM.

Although he has only done 2 days so far (let's see how long his enthusiasm lasts once he realises that this is it now for the next 12 years or so) I had to ask him what the best thing about school was.  His reply surprised me: "Learning & stickle bricks".  OK, so the stickle bricks part didn't surprise me, but the 'learning' bit did.  I mean, how much can you have learnt in 2 days?  So I asked him to elaborate.  It turns out he has learnt about keeping the classroom tidy & putting things away.  Bring on the homework!

I'm not saying LM is venal but...

... I think he may well easily be bribed with money.  (Let's hope he doesn't go for a career in politics).

Tonight we had a lentil salad from Hugh FW's brilliant Veg book for dinner and by way of prandial conversation I told LM about the Italian tradition of having lentils at New Year because they symbolised (OK I didn't say 'symbolised', I said 'look like') money & were meant to bring you luck with it.  LM looked down at his plate, picked a lentil up for closer inspection then turned to me & said "We should have this every day because it's the best dinner in the world".

Weirdly, when I had previously said that I could quite happily eat the salad every day he hadn't been so keen as we wouldn't then be able to eat other food.

I'm wondering what other prosperity 'traditions' I can find that will persuade him to pick up his cars & Lego.

Olympic Inspiration

LM is very keen on the Olympics.  So far his favourite events to watch have been canoeing, track cycling & hurdles.

 However he has developed his own events, not all of which I can see catching on.

Event 1:  The garden obstacle course on space hopper.  Personally I think this would be a great spectator event.  LM is obviously the current (& only) record holder but we are ready for a challenge from his cousins when they come to stay.

Event 2:  The Hot Wheels step race.  This just seems to involve LM playing cars with the addition of giving each car a country to represent.

Event 3:  Running really fast around the living room.  Team GB athletes might find the distance a little limiting but LM reckons he can beat Jessica Ennis (although admittedly she was hurdling 100 m & he was just sprinting 2 m)

Event 4:  Cushion horse eventing.

Unfortunately his enthusiasm for the cycling has not translated into Event 5: Nice bike ride with Mummy & Daddy, as last night's tantrum proved.  Apparently the track we tried to go down was "too bumpy" which resulted in a meltdown & an early night.  I'm sure he won't be the only athlete to have a hissy fit.

His best commentary so far has been, on seeing the Olympic Flame burning in the stadium, "Look!  They have a fire to keep them warm."

Anyway I must go.  LM is currently setting up the cushions to be the sand for his Triple Jump attempt & I need to adjudicate. 

The darker side of travel games

We recently took LM camping in France (& conveniently escaped the worst of the weather here, although we did have to do a bit of a clean up when we got back).  Now usually on long trips (in LM's mind, anything longer than 5 minutes) LM is allowed to play games on the iphone but with a 6 hour drive ahead of us we decided to ban the phone and come up with other ways to occupy him.  On the way down a sheet of French road signs to look out for lasted a surprisingly long time but on the way back the sheet was lost under camping equipment so we resorted to the old standby, I-spy.

The problems with playing this with LM are many.  Firstly, when it's his go he either chooses something completely random that he couldn't possibly see (snowflake in July?  OK, so had we been in the UK that might just have been possible) or he chooses a letter and every time  we come up with an answer he pauses while he thinks about whether he likes it & then just plumps for the answer he likes best regardless of whether he had thought of it beforehand.  When it's our go he just randomly shouts out words that rarely start with our letter.

It gets a bit much after a while so we started spotting different coloured cars - first to 10 the winner.  When that finished I thought we'd move on to animals.  I chose cows, Daddy chose monkeys (I guess he didn't want to upset LM by winning) and LM said he was going to look for "people's eyes.  But not on their heads.  Ones that have fallen out on the road".  I would like to reassure everyone that France has not turned into a nation of zombies & LM scored a big, fat 0 on that.  (I probably would have won had I not been so disturbed by LM's choice that I forgot to count).

Is it a little boy thing?  Or does LM have a particularly gruesome imagination?  Next trip, come back iphone, all is forgiven!  (Perhaps LM's plan all along)

Talk to the hand...

I asked LM to do something today that he wasn't happy about.  I repeated my request & he walked away from me saying "I'm not talking to you - I'm stonking off!"

Anyway, he did as he was asked so 'stonking off' clearly means 'I'm off to do exactly as you asked Mummy albeit begrudgingly'.

Dinnertime Discussions

LM asked a disconcerting question over dinner.

Picture the scene:  the sun is shining & we're eating dinner on the (half-finished) patio when, out of the blue, he asks "When will people start dying?"

At first we were too taken aback to answer but, to buy time, I asked "Like who?"

LM then told us that his friend at pre-school's Grandma had died and he wanted to know when anyone else would (I'm guessing he meant people he actually knew).

Daddy bravely stepped in & explained that people died when they were very old.  To which LM countered "But you are very old Daddy"  (there may have been a slight snigger from Mummy at this point).

The conversation thankfully took a lighter tone after that

All Change

Well what a different swimming lesson that was!

  After the trials & tribulations of last week, today couldn't have been better.  LM made a real effort to swim well on his back, performed his straight jumps perfectly & even crowned me 'Queen Mummy' with the ring he picked up from the bottom of the pool.

It just goes to show that you shouldn't let the tantrums get to you because it is only temporary - I just need to remember that next time.   (Note to LM: please, please, please don't let there be a next time).

They grow up so fast

I was going to blog with this title before today as LM had his place at primary school confirmed and will start going there for one morning a week as of Thursday, by way of an introduction to school life.  He is very excited about the whole thing & whilst I'm very proud of his enthusiasm I can't help but think it wasn't that long ago that he was just a tiny scrap of a thing dependent on me for everything.

But today he showed me how fast he was growing up in an entirely different, & not at all pleasant, way.

We were at his swimming lesson & we clearly have made no headway in taming his over-competitiveness as he started screaming with fury when the others in the class reached the far side before him - in fairness to him he usually is first but today he had been messing about & not even trying, yet he had expected them all to stop & wait for him to get his act together.  I took him over to the side of the pool & tried all of my tantrum  taming techniques to no avail - he just kept screaming that he hated all his 'swimming friends'  & that he wanted them to get out & let him swim on his own.  For one brief moment I thought the threat of getting out of the pool & going home was going to do the trick as he paused his ranting only to start again when he realised the others had had the effrontery to carry on swimming without him.  So we went home - it's not easy dressing a screaming child then dressing yourself whilst simultaneously trying to make sure he doesn't make a mad dash for the pool fully clothed (I even considered running for the car in my swimsuit).  

LM has good lungs, I'll give him that.  He kept up the screaming all the way home & even when taken up to his room.  Although by this time he had changed the target of his fury to me & the house:  "I hate the house.  I want to ask the builder to knock it down."  He even wanted me dead which was a horrible thing to hear even when you know he doesn't understand what he's saying.  It was like hearing a teenage version of him.  My LM had gone from being an adorable child to schoolboy to moody teenager in less than a week.  That really is growing up too fast.

He eventually calmed down when I just sat on his bed not saying anything but cutting off any chance of escape (although he kept up the teenager bit for a while longer by pointedly turning his back on me).

We're all smiles now of course but it did sound like he was getting his wish on the house front a moment ago as we had a builder knocking through a window & plumbers ripping out a bathroom.

Sports Relief 2012

Preschool had a sponsored run in aid of the day which consisted of running twice around the playing field. LM was very keen & had been practising for days. He had even confided in me that his best friend J was faster but that he sometimes overtook him.

The day was thankfully sunny but the first hiccup occurred minutes before the run was due to start. Dew on the grass meant the play leaders decreed wellies were to be worn. LM hates wearing wellies to run & much prefers bare feet even in colder weather so it took some cajoling to get him to start. This is a skill I have developed since LM came along so he was on the start line ready for the off & was even in the leading pack.  Halfway round & LM had dropped a couple of places but was still going strong.  Then he started to look behind him & fell back further.  Not too far but enough for him to finish the first lap in tears refusing to go on because he wasn't winning.

My cajoling skills were back in play &, whilst grabbing his hand & sprinting (ahem) alongside him, I gently explained that it wasn't a race, that he was doing it to raise money & anyway he was still ahead of loads of people who, if he didn't get a move on, would soon overtake.  I wish I could say that doing it for charity spurred him on but alas I think it was the third incentive.  Still, he finished albeit in tears.

Later he watched the start of the TV coverage (well, he wanted to see Strictly Underwater) & after a film of a young boy working on a rubbish dump I explained that this was why he was raising money (& not, I repeat, not racing) so that boys like that could go to school.  Luckily LM is very keen on the idea of going to school (long may that last) so agreed that this was a good thing.

We're working on the tears at not being first whilst trying not to douse his enthusiasm.  Wish us luck.

Visiting relatives

Well kind of.  Yesterday I took LM to Monkey World as a reward for being so patient with all the building works.  We'd been before when he was smaller & had always been blessed with rain but yesterday, despite a foggy start, the sun came out & we were able to really make the most of it all (& not just the indoor play area).

The big hit with LM were the gibbons.  We were treated to a display of acrobatic skills that delighted LM by the golden-cheeked gibbons & one of the Mueller gibbons kindly presented his bottom to him after rapping on the glass to make sure we were paying attention.  Cue much hilarity from LM (though thankfully he didn't reciprocate). 

Being only 4 I'm not sure how much LM understood when I explained that many of them were rescued but he was very impressed with their climbing frames & with those provided for the visiting cheeky monkeys.

World Book Day ...

... and the day was far too beautiful to spend curled up with a book (although we did manage a trip to the library where LM got to make a badge celebrating the day & bought 2 books).

So we went to the beach (not put off at all by yesterday's beach trip in the fog) and LM practised riding his bike along the front before we went for a wander on the beach where LM insisted on bringing home a pebble indistinguishable to my eyes from every other pebble on the beach.

Back home we got to work in the garden planting out potatoes before taking a break for a sit down (me) and dance (LM):

Blue skies, GreenDay

Gone 4 and the sun was still shining so we played football for an hour and LM displayed some pretty impressive goalkeeping skills (as long as the ball wasn't kicked too hard).  However I feel the game was unfair as witnessed by the final score of LM 551, Mummy 0.  Apparently you only score if the ball stops dead centre in the goal without touching the net.  Who knew?

And to celebrate St David's Day we had cheesy leeks for tea!

For perfectly tossed pancakes...

...just get a LM to hang round your neck.  Kind of like a lucky charm.  I think

I can, however, confirm that they came out fine and that the ceiling & floor are pancake-free

The trainee becomes the master

It appears LM considers himself quite the aficionado in the toilet training discipline now.  

On a recent car journey we had to make a toilet stop.  LM, for once, waited patiently for me (instead of trying to unlock the door) and said, with some pity in his voice, "You can't wee standing up, can you?"  I started to explain that girls, generally, don't when he continued with, "If you watch me, you'll learn how to do it"

This sharing of his expertise doesn't end there.  It seems he's been giving advice to one of the girls at pre-school which has left her bemused as, like me, she can't wee standing up either.

An unexpected benefit...

...of building works - an all weather cycle track for novices

.

Is this a good thing?

LM tonight " Sausages make my eyes juicy".
He ate them anyway.

The Case of The Vanishing Lady

LM has recently got into the BBC show The Magicians.  I'm not sure how much he understands of most of the tricks but he certainly likes the ones where people disappear & reappear (particularly if there is an element of danger involved).

After yesterday's show he performed his own vanishing trick whereby he turned me round to face the other way, asked his audience (Daddy) "Where's Mummy gone?", then spun me back with a flourish & his 'Was that a good trick?' face.  He was, of course, applauded by both audience & his glamorous (ahem) assistant.

I'd like to encourage this interest in the magic arts but can't help feeling a little apprehensive about the day he decides to saw the lady in half.

Back from the dead

A year ago our house rabbit, Moppet, passed away at the grand old age of nearly 11.  LM took it quite well and understood that Moppet was now buried  (very deep & under some rocks for fear of the foxes disinterring him) in the garden, happy because he was no longer suffering from afore-mentioned old age & illness.

However, today LM was helping me with the cleaning & I asked him to put something in the utility room.  When he looked at me blankly I said, "You know, Moppet's room" as that was where the rabbit had his living quarters & we had always referred to it so.  LM paused for thought & asked, "When will Moppet come out of his hole in the ground?"  Death isn't an easy thing to explain & not wanting to go too deeply into the subject I just explained again about how Moppet had been old & ill & so was much happier now, sleeping in his hole & he wouldn't wake up.

To which LM replied "Well, when Daddy snores he won't be able to sleep!"  

I had no answer for that.

Moppet RIP

Food for thought

The Times this weekend had a excerpt from the new parenting 'bible' "French kids don't throw food".  I was keen to read this because I am a self-confessed francophile but quickly became irritated by the assumption that British (& American) kids were ill-behaved embarrassments in a restaurant.  LM is a dream dinner date.  Indeed I have even gone out on my with him as a treat ... for both of us.  He has been eating out with us from a very early age when he would watch us whilst sucking a cucumber stick to death and I'm convinced that that's why he is so good now.

 In fact I would go so far as to say that he eats better in a restaurant, clearing his plate with no fuss.

And whilst his favourite food when out is fish, chips & beans (& the fish doesn't have to be in finger form - he loves mackerel) he is quite happy to try new things too - even curry.
My LM may not be French but he doesn't have to be - I'm proud of his gastronomic behaviour.  I think if we assume our kids will misbehave then we are selling them short.

PS I should point out the author wasn't French but did live in France

Supermarket Sweep

I think there has been some misunderstanding over the size of the extension that is currently going up here.  Over dinner LM was asking where I had bought some of the ingredients & when I mentioned Tesco he said "In big Tesco?  But it's not as big as our new house"  (LM is convinced that the extension is a separate house.  Consequently we will, according to him, soon have 2 houses).  I guess to a little person the new rooms in their unfinished state look pretty big, but as big as a supermarket?  Does he think he's going to need a trolley to get around? Perhaps I should bring in a reward card to encourage him to tidy up - or is he expecting a shelf stacker to follow him round & sort everything?

Chewing a wasp

Happy New Year.  Hope it's all going well so far.
 LM is now back at pre-school so we are returning to a routine of sorts. Christmas was good (a lot of "Wow!"s from LM so Father Christmas clearly knows his stuff) and even better were the lie ins - most days LM didn't surface until 9 which was just brilliant, particularly New Years Day.

Over the holidays he has discovered a new favourite breakfast ... hornets! Well, he calls them hornets.  You or I would probably refer to them by their more traditional name, crumpets.  Don't ask how LM came up with that name, because I really have no idea but imagine my amusement watching people's faces as he excitedly tells them that Nanny has hornets for breakfast.